This is a page for Porter County residents which, hopefully, will interest some and irritate others by calling attention to issues, happenings, thoughts, ideas, and politics, sometimes pertinent just to Porter County and often beyond those borders for we are no island onto ourselves.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Creationism

As an unabashed admirer of so much of our world’s scientific achievement, and as the son of the pastor of the Valparaiso Nazarene Church when I was born, and as a former public school teacher, among other things, I feel I have some qualification for making the following comments:
Evolution, creationism, politics, theocracy. I’m getting confused by all this arguing when the truth has already been established--at least for twenty-some percent of our population--at least since the ordination of the most seemingly pious pope the U.S. Supreme Court ever installed in the U.S. presidency.
It’s time to burn the books that teach only one theory, either the theory of evolution--Darwin’s Book, or the theory of creationism--God’s Book . The truth is self-evident: both theories are correct! The evidence is all around us. That evidence can be found in the fact of the existence of the two primary political parties in our country: Republican and Democrat.
The Republican Party is on the wane, having been largely consumed by the Theocrat Party. The Democrat Party is still around but, like the Neanderthal, probably due for replacement.
In the meantime, the democrats are proof that evolution is true. Democrats, we all know, evolved from slime. Just ask Reverend Falwell, or that other theocrat who owns the diamond mine in Africa, or better yet, ask George the Second because we know He is the Second Coming. Jeb will probably be the third They are the proof creationism is true.
It’s time to end the fighting. Democrats, as well as the world’s leading scientists, will just have to get over it and accept the fact that God created the theocrats like Tom Delay, who begins each day of predation with a prayer, like Dick Cheney, who, when he isn’t praying, is telling a fellow senator to perform a lewd act on the senate floor, like George ll who has such respect for human life in Florida and Washington and so little regard for it in Texas, like Jimmy Swaggert who…oh, never mind, but remember, God, not Darwin put those people in charge of the rest of us, and I, for one, am not going to mess around with God. I am just going to hope that we democrats and the other forms of low-life can continue evolving so we, too, can become paragons of truth and decency like the above mentioned theocratic creationists.

1 Comments:

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